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On Being My Kids' Mom

As I cuddle with my two month old and admire his beautiful little face I’m reminded that Mother’s Day isn’t really about me. It’s about them, my kids. It’s a celebration of the fact that my most important job is to be their mom. And there’s no arguing that it is a difficult job.

Mother’s Day is a yearly reminder to thank us moms and all the hard work we do every.single.day, but it feels odd to celebrate this year because I know that I have not been at my best. As it turns out, I’m not so good at having 3 kids under 5. I lose my temper and yell, we eat take out and fast food too often, our house always messy, my oldest spends too much time on the iPad, my daughter doesn’t listen to a word I say and my infant only sleeps when I hold him.

Sigh.

My kids are learning and growing and changing in every moment and it’s my job, as their mom, to make them the best little people they can be. To teach, guide, love and support them as they grow. And most days I feel like I’m failing.I love them so much that I wish better for them than kid’s meals and a frazzled, angry mom.

Clearly post partum hormones do not help the situation.

But, the most wonderful thing about being a mom is that a child can wash away all the guilt and frustration in an instant. Like when my 2 month old puts nursing on hold for a moment to look up and smile at me. Or when I sneak in to kiss my sleeping 3 year old and she reaches up to give me a hug, whispering “Mama.” Or when my son lovingly describes our family.  It helps to think that even if I’m not the best mom, they’re doing okay. And so am I.