11/25/2016 to 11/28/2016
11/28/2016 to 11/29/2016

Community of One

I'm not great at taking advice. Or at asking for help. So when I decided to breastfeed, I didn't consult friends or family. Instead, I signed up for a class. I did research online. I read books. I decided I was going to figure it out on my own.
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Just like I'd done with so many other things in my life.
And after the baby was born, it was me, myself and I navigating the waters of breastfeeding. My husband was there too and incredibly supportive but he was playing just as many guessing games as I was. It's not like he had any first hand experience. He knew it and I knew it. But he wasn't about to suggest I ask for help. I was hormonal!

And deep down, I knew I should ask for help. There were many family members who told me should I ask for advice, they'd be happy to supply it. There were friends I knew had breastfed and knew could help me.  There were mom groups I knew I could join- that I’d been invited to join!

But instead I chose to be a community of one. And in hindsight, I wish I'd allowed myself to ask for help. I wish I'd let myself be a little needy and vulnerable instead of wanting to be tough and "figure it out". Instead of being insistent that I prove to myself that I could do it on my own. Because that was just plain silly.

Thankfully I had (and still have!) the Bravado community. Bravado helped me understand that the breastfeeding community is a tight group- always there for each other. I learned that it's okay to ask for help. That it's okay to admit it's hard. That it can be frustrating. I learned that you don't have to be a community of one.